Connected, but Alone

Posted on January 21, 2014 by cmschilly

This TED talk by Sherry Turkle is worth the listen and the thought-time. As we model for our students and children how to engage meaningfully in community, navigate emotions and relationships with friends and loved ones, and balance increasing demands on our time and attention as a result of this digital age: reflecting on Sherry Turkle’s words will not be a waste.

“We seem determined to give human qualities to objects and content to treat each other as things…and the end result is we expect more from technology and less from each other…When Thoreau considered “where I live and what I live for,” he tied together location and values. Where we live doesn’t just change how we live; it informs who we become. Most recently, technology promises us lives on the screen. What values, Thoreau would ask, follow from this new location? Immersed in simulation, where do we live, and what do we live for?” – Sherry Turkle

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Posted on November 10, 2013 by cmschilly

Recently at Tuxedo Park School we had the privilege of learning about wildlife conservation efforts for big cats around the world (jaguars, tigers, lions, snow leopards, and cougars). The Vice President of the wildlife conservation organization Panthera, Andrea Heydlauff, shared the story of these secretive, majestic animals. Panthera’s mission is “to ensure the future of wild cats through scientific leadership and global conservation action.”

At TPS part of our mission is to – from our earliest years in the Pre-Kindergarten – train and inspire learners who are knowledgeable, skilled, and driven agents of change in their local and globally communities. Ms. Heydlauff shared information about four of the worlds “big cats”, threats to their survival, the science behind world-wide conservation efforts, and things we can do – at all ages – to join these efforts.

As our students grow and develop in a world that looks very different from the one in which we were educated, we work to prepare them for their future, not our past. Ms. Heydlauff’s visit was a perfect opportunity to give students an additional snapshot of the broad array of career paths that are available to them. When you ask a student what they would like to be when they grow up, you know you are asking a question the answer to which will likely shift and change many times throughout their lives. That said, you are also likely to get one of these answers: doctor, veterinarian, musician, movie star, pro-athlete, or something to do with Legos. We hope that in drawing attention to professional adults who have followed the passions of their hearts and strengths of their minds – to careers that many of us aren’t even aware of – that we can continue to train children for their future, one in which they live the mission of TPS as adults.

Take a moment to to watch the video below, an award-winning video telling the story of one of Panthera’s projects. In it, the narrator is a young boy who lives on a ranch in the Brazilian Pantanal learning how cows, people, and jaguars can all live together. It serves as a shining example of the work they do in local communities.

AND is Better

Posted on November 1, 2013 by cmschilly

Surely you’ve seen the Ford Focus commercials where two people are driving in the car and talking about how “and” is better than “or” (for example: sweet OR sour chick, black OR white, protect OR serve, going to a bed OR breakfast). They have a point.

As I was reading the other day in Because We Can Change The World by Maria Sapon-Shavin, I took note of how this same principal applies to the idea of being – as Pat Bassett says – schools and educators that strive to grow students who are “smart AND good”. Maria Sapon-Shavin writes:

“Educators are realizing that we need not dichotomize or choose between teaching skills and teaching students to be caring and responsible human beings. We need not sacrifice reading to teach sharing or abandon math goals in favor of teaching mutual support and help. Rather, the classroom community can be structure so that students learn reading through sharing, and work on math goals with teacher and peer support.”

We strive for excellence of skills AND excellence of heart because, as with the Ford Focus, AND is better.

We may not be fancy…but we sure are fun!

Posted on August 15, 2013 by cmschilly

“One lives but once in this world.” – Johann von Goethe

PowderQuest’s Ingrid Backstrom Women’s Freeride Camp, 2013
August 2-9
La Parva, Chile
Photos courtsey of: Colleen Schilly, Margaret Meyer, Roberta Rebori, & David Owen

Fear & Spanish Sausage in the Chilean Andes

Posted on August 13, 2013 by cmschilly

I have written at least eight different blog posts in my head reflecting on my recent experience skiing in the Chilean Andes, but this one today honors the beauty of how adventure – and the challenges and triumphs resulting from it – can connect to your everyday professional and personal life.

As I met with a colleague this morning we discussed hopes and anxieties for the year ahead. It quickly became an interesting discussion on the role of fear, which can either paralyze & consume you or fuel your change and growth. We discussed whether or not communicating about nervousness and fears was worthwhile or counterproductive. Similarly, we moved into a discussion about support and professional growth and how to accept both compliments and constructive feedback with grace and confidence. In both these conversations I found myself having one of those classic light bulb “A-HA!” style moments and sharing anecdotes from my recent skiing experience with PowderQuest.

Fear – Work With & Through It

It was not until halfway through my trip that my trip-mates and guides knew that I had never been off-piste skiing before. I was not actively trying to hide this information, but neither did I volunteer it. I stood at the top of varying levels of backcountry chutes and bowls with fear pounding in my chest. And I held that alone. I don’t think that made me brave. It made me isolated. It wasn’t until a particularly long and harrowing day that I finally said “I have never done this before, I am terrified.” It was only then that the women on the trip were able to more fully be the amazing women they are in support of me. It was only then that Ingrid Backstrom & Leah Evans could really put their expertise and coaching talent to maximal use. I was able to get the help I needed to become a better, braver skier because I wasn’t trying to hide what was going on inside. In our professional and personal lives I think we tend to connote fear with cowardice. Fear is neither brave nor cowardly. Fear is a rationale response to risk, to uncertainty, to the new. Whether you are standing at the cusp of a narrow snow-covered chute flanked by rocks or on the cusp of a new job, a changing relationship, or something else big or small….I am more certain then ever that if you find the right people to share your fear with that you will find yourself capable of more than you imagined.

Spanish Sausage – Love It & Yourself

Midway through our trip, Leah & Ingrid turned to our group of beautiful, smart, talented, and successful skier chicks who were ripping up the slopes and made the following pronouncement:

“Here’s the deal. For the rest of the day if you say anything negative about your skiing or yourself you have to stop at the entrance to the lift, raise your hands in the air, do a dance, and yell ‘ME GUSTA LA LONGANIZA CHILENA!”

Meaning, “I LOVE CHILEAN SAUSAGE!” This certainly gave the lift operators a good chuckle. Many of us had to do this, sometimes multiple times, and even our superstar guides Ingrid & Leah were not exempt…going to show the pervasive problem we (and I think particularly women) have with two things:

Accepting compliments without using self-deprecation or criticism to deflect them. Instead of saying an authentic “Thank you” we instead resort to the “Yes, but….” Or “Except for when…” We assume that compliments are just the sweet tasting, disingenuous preface to what someone else really means which is the criticism that is sure to follow (or secretly lurking within them).
Absorbing feedback as a growth opportunity rather than a devaluation of our skills, talents, or self-worth. We are the first to say “Nobody is perfect, and I certainly am not” and so susceptible to crumbling inwardly upon receiving suggestions for improvement.

Sure, some people will compliment you in order to wound you. Some people will give feedback that is not constructive and leaves you feeling scraped out inside. But we all know how to differentiate between THOSE people and the allies and supporters around us who mean what they say.

So….whether on a ski slope, in your office, or at home….WHAT IF?

What if we chose to live with our fear instead fighting the impossible fight to live without it?

What if we chose to let fear propel us to new heights alongside those who can champion us along the way?

What if we chose to accept gratitude and compliments with a smile and earnest thanks?

What if we chose to hear feedback with an open mind and heart rather than disappointment and self-criticism?

What could we then be capable of – independently and together?

A Tale of Enduring Leadership – Part 4: The End

Posted on July 26, 2013 by cmschilly

Ernest Shackleton and his crew of 27 set sail aboard the sturdy ship christened Endurance in December of 1914. Over the course of their two year expedition they truly lived everything embodied in the word “endurance”. Forced to abandon their ship, they spent months traveling hundreds of miles over frozen land and hellish seas, withstanding an astonishing amount of physical and mental hardship. Most astounding is that, in spite of all they endured, not a single member of the crew perished. Though they did not achieve the expedition’s goal of crossing Antarctica on foot, they achieved something that has gone down in history as a captivating tale of leadership, teamwork, and tenacious endurance. Shackleton’s initial transparency and consequent leadership attracted a group of like-minded individuals who he transformed as a result of presence, acknowledgement, and play into a true team able to endure and conquer challenges for the sake of their shared mission. In 21st century schools such leadership can grow communities that thrive in a constantly changing world as we strive to deliver our mission to each child.

If…then…

Posted on May 1, 2013 by cmschilly

“The clear fact of everyday experience is that human intelligence is diverse and multi-faceted. For evidence, we need only look at the extraordinary richness and complexity of human culture and achievement. But the foundation of all these achievements is a unique, personal aptitude combined with a deep passion and commitment.” – Ken Robinson

IF we are truly interested in creating a school culture that is inclusive of many intelligences…
IF we believe that one size does not fit all children (a belief we can hold even when we are limited in what sizes we can fully accommodate)…
IF we hold that a child in our school deserves to believe they have distinctive value and worth…
IF we trust that taking safe risks is necessary for children’s growth and development…
and
IF we know that children need modeling and transparency to set them up for their best chance at success in these risks…

THEN we need to start by naming and including our intelligences in that school culture
THEN we must recognize that our strengths, passions, intelligences come in different sizes, shapes, colors, and complexities.
THEN we will believe in our own distinctive value and worth to this community, and be willing to see and acknowledge it in our colleagues.
THEN we can take our own safe risks for our own growth and development.
And
THEN we have, as the decision-makers and weather-creators of their daily school environment, a confident, flexible, and unapologetic answer to the question “How are you intelligent?” about ourselves.

It is easy to spend our days feeling weighed down by our struggles and challenges, by the things that go “wrong”. We forget that some of the core things children need for happiness and health are not their needs because they are CHILDREN, but because they are PEOPLE….and we as adults need them too. We need to allow ourselves to accept the reality that our weaknesses and challenges do not define us or our worth. We need to know and be willing to articulate for others our strengths and passions so that they can serve as springboards for new growth. We need to be seen and recognized. We need to contribute and to have a voice. There are many things we each bring to the table – for the sake of our students and our community – and some of those things we know about each other, and some of them we don’t. How are you intelligent? Who you are is valuable to children and to your school. What do you bring to the table?

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Schilly)

Colleen McKernan Schilly

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