I have been thinking a lot lately about how early it happens that girls acquire a perception of their own worth. Children – both boys and girls – are bombarded by messages from the media, remarks from women in their lives about their own self-images (“Oh, no thank you! Just a salad a for me. That _____ will go straight to my hips.”), and by young adults that they look up to and model their lives after (the 95lb, 5’5″ fourteen year old who says on the bus to school “Ugh. I feel so fat today.”) Since young children are still, in so many ways, very much children…it can be easy to think that they aren’t absorbing these things like sponges. We assume that girls are not acquiring an unachievable vision of what they should look like, and that boys are not inheriting the same vision for themselves and for the women these girls will grow up to be.

Kate Thompson in The Huffington Post recently published an article (read it here)  on this very topic. One of the most striking excerpts:

“In this beautifully written and very moving article Passing on Body Hatred by Kasey Edwards, we can see how the cycle so often begins in childhood. After her mother had shared her feelings of negative body image with her as a child, she said, in an open letter to her mother: “I cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy; because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.” ….Women are the mothers, wives, daughters, doctors, scientists and thinkers of the future. Our greatest contribution to the world is not about how we look but who we are and what we do.”

In a similar vein, an old friend of mine recently wrote a piece describing her own struggle with body-image and beauty in the high-powered world of Hollywood . I am grateful that there are strong, independent female role-models like Tara Rasmus out there in the “real world” who can write pieces like this and remind young women (indeed, all of us) that the media portrayal of femininity is artificial and empty. As educators we need to remember that we send subtle, yet palpable, messages to the young children in our classrooms everyday. In how we accept compliments, care for ourselves, speak about body-image, model healthy-eating…we too bear a heavy responsibility in creating a culture for boys and girls that values healthy choices in which that word “healthy” is known for more than lettuce, self-denial, or compulsive exercising. I am far more inclined to champion this view of healthy that Tara referred to in her article:

“Sexy is inherent in a healthy appreciation for food, in having the energy to romp with your beloved, pick up your baby, cook dinner for your friends, go for a run, or simply take a gentle walk to the market. Sexy is in feeling sated, having options, and feeling alive.” – Sophie Dahl

Photo by Maddie McManus

I think these words are useful to keep at the forefront of our minds as we head into the homestretch together:

“The work can wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won’t wait while you do the work. ” -Patricia Clafford

Whether it is actually a rainbow, or whether the rainbow here represents a millipede, a dropped hot dog, an untied shoelace, the need for a hug, or a conversation to help sort out a challenge…….these teachable moments and memory-making experiences are fleeting and yet can make deep impact. It’s easy to miss them in the last chaotic weeks of school. Stay tuned. To each other and to children. The rainbows are worth pausing and absorbing…because the work will be there when we return.

Paris, Mirai, & Raquel

Two weeks ago third graders spent nearly three hours counting all the coins they collected from their change drive during the week of January 14-18. The classroom floor was strewn with pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters as students worked in groups to count, record, and compute the amount of money they collected. As a result of their tireless perseverance in sorting and calculating coins children walked away with a deep appreciation for just how impressive their final total was, coming in at $1,351.52.

All the money raised will go towards purchasing books for the school in Mablomong, South Africa that Tuxedo Park resident Sue Heywood and the organization CarryYou are connected with. Third graders will each select a different loved picture book for our connection in South Africa to purchase. They will be able to send letters and illustrations to their peers in Mablomong about themselves and their reasons for selecting each book. The remainder of the money will be used to purchase a variety of books in English, Afrikaans, and other local tribal languages to fill out the collection at the school.

Third graders are featured in a local paper (The Photo News) highlighting their project and what they believed they learned from the experience. I encourage you all to read as their insights into themselves and the world are profound.

Justin, Megan, Courtney, & Serdar

As their teacher, watching this project grow and develop from the seeds of their inspiration, I have marveled at what children can think, create, and do when given a safe environment, a thoughtful framework (though admittedly one I was making up as I went), and appropriate freedom. I have watched them grow in the incredibly crucial skills of collaboration, critical thinking, creativity, communication, & cultural competency as they worked together to solve problems, construct plans, implement them, and remain focused on their purpose. We had the opportunity to talk about topics of leadership & followership, children’s rights, multiple intelligences, and the diversity of talents and skills in our classroom community. We talked daily about the importance of making decisions around and remaining anchored by their “why”, their reason for pursuing this coin drive in the first place. When I initially asked the question back in December: “WHY do we want to collect money to buy children at this school in South Africa books?”

Student responses generated this collaborative “mission statement”:

 “People deserve an education. It is a child’s right to learn. In order to learn, people need books. We have so much and should share what we have. This gives children everywhere a better chance at a better life.”

Their relentless belief that these words mattered, and their perseverance in keeping their mission at the center through conflicts, presentations, planning, creating, and collecting is what ensured the success of their endeavor. From the beginning of this project the interest, framework, and implementation was student driven and as

a result they have acquired skills that will not fade (like the memorization of state capitals) because they were skills that were needed, honed, tested, and found necessary and useful. They know the challenges, triumphs, and hallmarks of good leaders and good followers (both of which are necessary for team dreams to become reality). They have greater appreciation for the diversity of what each member of their community brings to the table. They have the skills to resolve conflicts when they arise (as they inevitably do) in collaborative ventures. They have a deeper, richer global awareness and sense of citizenship in a world beyond themselves. Most invaluably: they have a stronger belief that they can make an impact…and the courage to act and make it real. They know now, in a way they did not before, that they can count on themselves and each other to be a source of the kind of change that lasts longer than pennies.

Cassie, Sam, & Eva